When leading people we, sometimes, tend to think that sharing our struggles with the people we lead may undermine our authority or change the way people perceive us. It is usually common to share our issues with the person we report to. However, is it beneficial to also share them with the people that report to us?
I have been thinking more about it and I came to the conclusion that sharing my own struggles with the people that report to me for the last months has not only helped me, but also helped them and us as a team. And it is something that I didn’t do intentionally, but I ended up realizing that it strengthened our relationship.
To be fair, there are things which shouldn’t be shared with someone that is reporting to you. Let’s say you’re having an issue managing another employee. It would be crazy to consult with a colleague of that employee to get advice. Or let’s say you are having a hard time planning how you are going to communicate something with the team that is going to impact them negatively. It wouldn’t be a good idea to share this with someone that is part of the team that will receive the news before all the others do. There is a place for everything and common sense needs to be applied.
What kind of things should you share with the people that report to you, then? I found that it was productive to share things related to my own work method, for instance. I was having a hard time finding the best system for me to stay organized and make sure I followed up with everything I was supposed to. By asking a few of the people in my team what their method was like and what worked well for them, I not only got really useful insights to help me with what I needed. but I also learned more about how they work.
I also asked some of them to help me brainstorm about how to move forward with certain projects from time to time and what would be important to consider. This was not only helpful to help me reach some conclusions, but it was also helpful to understand how they think and how they prioritize tasks.
Both of these examples were important for me to understand that when I was asking advice or help from the people that reported to me about something that wasn’t directly their responsibility, I was also helping them develop by putting them in a position where they would have to provide guidance, think critically and coach. On one hand I felt that I was being vulnerable and that it would change the way they perceive me, however it was not at all what I think happened.
Sharing your own struggles with the people that report to you can be a good way for them to consider you more as part of the team, as someone who faces some of the struggles they also face. If people relate more to you, they will also feel more comfortable sharing what they are going through with you, they’ll trust you more. This transparency can also increase the team’s spirit as helping someone asking for advice is also helping the entire team be better and stronger. At the end of the day we are all a team, regardless of the position we have, right?
André Vidal 